I feel this way more often than not.
It’s as if there are 2 personalities wrestling inside of me. One feels she is too much. The other thinks she is not enough.
I think I’m too much of the undesirable and not enough of the desirable. Too much of who I don’t want to be and not enough of who I think I should be.
I’ve asked myself and God about this constant battle of feeling like I’m too much yet not enough. Why this struggle? What is going on?
The voices in my head competes for my attention. They mock me and robs me of peace.
Not Enough says, “You’ll never amount to much. You don’t have what it takes to be someone of worth.”
Too Much tells me, “You are too much of your awkward, inadequate self. Hide your true self or you”ll never be accepted.”
Both Too Much and Not Enough tells me the same story. “You are insignificant and you don’t belong anywhere.”
These voices were a threat to my well being for many years, even while I have the Spirit of God living in me as a follower of Jesus.
In recent months, I’ve come to understand the reason for these voices. Turns out my struggle has to do with being human. I wrestle between being too much and not enough because I am insecure about my worth and I rely on people’s approval and acceptance to define my worth and significance.
Boom! There it is. The plain embarrassing truth. But I don’t think I’m alone in this struggle.
If we are honest, I think many of us will admit we have questioned and doubted our significance at some point. We have fallen prey to the thinking that being seen, known, approved, and accepted by others can determine our worth. Surely, we must be significant if we are known, seen, approved, and accepted by many.
One thing is certain. To want all these things is to be human. We want and need to feel secure in who we are and what we’re worth.
The reason you and I want to be seen, known, approved, and accepted is because our Creator made us this way. Yes, God created us to have these longings so we would come to Him to find our worth. Only the One who formed us can know how to make us feel significant. He alone has the wisdom to understand how His created ones feel. He alone knows how to make us feel valued. He alone has the power to help us believe we are of significant worth.
As long as we are human, I believe we will wrestle with feeling as though we are too much, yet not enough. In our imperfect condition, we will have moments of relapse and forget who God says we are. But we don’t have to believe the voices shouting we are too fat, too needy, too different, too quirky, too whatever. We never have to listen to those voices which says we are not good enough, smart enough, pretty enough, thin enough, successful enough, powerful enough, popular enough, or whatever enough.
Young hearts, the one true voice we need to listen to comes from God. His voice speaks with gentleness, kindness, and love. He doesn’t condemn, guilt, or shame us into believing we are too much or not enough.
So when the voice of the enemy spews out lies that you are too much of something and not enough of another, refuse to take the beating. Remember, you are wonderfully made by your Maker and He gave you significant worth. You are not too much. You are enough.
My young friends, you can be secure in your worth because God designed you with immense value. You never have to prove or earn your worth by doing, achieving, and acquiring more. Spend time with your Creator God. Talk to Him about your voices. Get His words into you. And let His voice of truth speak words of affirmation and encouragement over you to drown out the voices of Too Much and Not Enough.