Hey there! Missed you all last week as I was prepping for a retreat weekend with my 8th grade girls from church. I finally recouped from the three hours of sleep I got over two nights 🙃.
I love getting extended one on one time with my middle school girls, whom I see every Sunday, but these weekends always take the oomph out of me 😥. And it’s not just because I get little 😪.
No fail. Each time I return from these retreats feeling extremely inadequate about myself. I feel like I’ve messed up big time. Like I could have, should have said and done things differently and better. The voices in my head tells me I’m no good and a failure. That I can’t do anything right. It’s an emotional roller coaster that just about wipes me out.
This was the work of the enemy (Satan) of my soul. He’s been messing with my mind all week. He thought I was down for the count. His lies and accusations tugged at my heart. I almost fell for his schemes. Until God came to my rescue.
Back in the day, these threats from my enemy would have sent me on a downward spiral to self-pity and self-defeat. I would’ve believed all his lies and end up hating myself for being so inadequate and awkward. Now I know different. I know the truth about myself and the God who made me.
Yes, I am inadequate. I do feel awkward being myself at times. But you know what? This is totally normal! I’m being the imperfect human God made. My inadequacies reveal how weak I truly am when left to myself. It shows my desperate need for God, the Maker and helper of my soul.
If I never feel inadequate, I wouldn’t seek help from a power stronger than me. I’d likely think I am all that and a bag of chips 😉. But God didn’t make me to rely solely on self. He made me to be in relationship with him and others.
Without inadequacies I may feel I am self-sufficient. I would not see my need for God or anyone else. I’d be an island unto myself.
But eventually I will come to the end of my limited strength, knowledge, and resources. Because the Creator made me, the created, to need him. And from him all my inadequacies are met and any awkwardness are settled.
I have to believe I’m not the only gal out here in this big world who feels a bit inadequate about herself. So I scribble these words to encourage you who are feeling, have ever felt, or will feel awkwardly inadequate as you live your true self.
Remember, inadequacies are a part of the human condition. But we don’t have to let it hijack our emotions and deprive us from a life of purpose and satisfaction. We can lean into our Maker and receive the power to overcome discouragement, and the wisdom to leverage our inadequacies for good.