Confidently Insecure

20180824_152732_0001Have you ever felt trapped in your body? Like you want to be someone else? You want to look and be anything but yourself.

I felt this way most of my teenage years and even into my 20’s. Those were confusing years. I felt trapped between two bodies. Was I Vietnamese or American? I didn’t know who to be. I wanted to keep my heritage, but I wanted more to be American so I wouldn’t stick out at school.

During my first year of real school outside the safe haven of an ESL class with other immigrant students, a girl named Lisa tormented me every day. She was pretty and popular. I was the new girl on her teasing radar.

That was 5th grade. My tormenter’s taunting magnified every awkwardness I already felt about myself. I began to dislike my looks and often wish I looked anything but Asian. Insecurity kicked in big time. And it stuck with me into adulthood.

Then, something strange happened in my mid twenties. I found God.

I grew up going to church and believed in God, but I didn’t know Him. He was someone I prayed to, not confide in. I had a fear of him, not an understanding of who He is.

Had I understood that God created me exactly as I am for a specific reason, I wouldn’t have been unsure about myself. I would have been more confident being me.

You see, feeling insecure is a natural and normal human condition. The most successful, beautiful, smartest, fittest, got-it-going-on women I know still have insecurities at times. But it’s all good! Just be sure to make God a part of your life. Then, you can run to him when your insecurities flares up. For He will calm your fears and settle your heart. Because God is real, he has the power to love you in such a way as to make you confident even when you feel insecure.

God’s Real Girls are confident. Not because we don’t have insecurities, but because we know our Maker takes pleasure in us. Just as we are. Insecurities and all.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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